Gas Lighting

“Gaslighting is a tactic in which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality.  […]

 

 

 

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  • Gas lighting is a psychological technique used to try and convince a person they have either done, or said something they have not done.

Example: “..you edited my comments to make it look like an attack!”

There are several ways this can be done – of course, it all begins with a lie. This is how they set up the scene, and even though you know it’s a lie, they will try to convince you they are right, and you are wrong. They will attempt to make you doubt yourself by repeating the lie, as many times as they can. Thus, anyone witnessing this behaviour will also begin to believe them; this is their goal. Unless checked, doubt will begin to set in.

“I contacted you through your blog cymraes corner only 4 months ago and yes you edited my comments …”

This is the comment, a SC from the comments board in my notifications panel; 4 months ago yes, edited, no.

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Another comment, and a ping-back (which happens when another site adds a link) posted around the same time; this Sc from within the comments section on WP Admin; edited? No.

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  • When you can counter their actions or claims with proof, they ignore it completely and perpetuate the lie they are telling, in an attempt to make it believable.

 

Example: I have repeatedly denied Bustin’ Chops is my blog, yet the lie that I have admitted it continues. See the the first and fourth comments in the Sc below.

 

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See last comment “bye stalker” repeated over months of abuse yet never once has it been a final goodbye.

 

Another lie is the one about Nos/John Smith being my son. It’s just is not true. I’ve never met Nos, let alone given birth to him. Yet the lie is five years old now. The names might be different, but the lie is the same!

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  • They deny they have done something, or said something, even though you know they have – this is done, again, to make you doubt yourself. They will do this repeatedly, over time, about different events, until they see you weaken.

 

Example: there are numerous occasions of denying the stalking of myself and my friends; yet it has been going on for years, and years. The names might change, but the words are the same.

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  • They will deny they have done something, even though there is proof they have.

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  • There’s no let up – they will keep working away at you, attempting to get you  completely under their control.

 

Example: 1st SC from October 2016; the 2nd from this week.

 

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From October 2016 on the now removed WP blog; removed for doxing btw.

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  • It’s when peoples words don’t match their actions that we wonder are they gas lighting? Are they attempting to change the truth?

Example: using the same phrase giving a false sense of an ending.

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See last comment “bye stalker” repeated over months of abuse yet never once has it been a final goodbye.

 

 

 

  • When they begin to attack your loved one’s or friends, in what ever form they choose, be it a simple word or a real threat, that we think this just might not be quite right.

 

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  • One clear sign is when they begin to project their issues onto you – there are many instances of this – a good example is to accuse you of having a drink problem, when in fact it’s them that has one. They might even perpetuate this lie/lies by convincing other people its true; control of you is the aim. Controlling others, telling them how to think and act is also one of their aims. If they can control how their friends act towards you, it’s a double win-win situation for them, and in their way of thinking a loose-loose situation for you…

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  • Other people will be used against you – the gas lighter, will be excellent at manipulating people and will use this technique to garner themselves support and turn the people they have gathered around them to turn on you. This, in their eyes, isolates you, even more. 

Angela Fallon PM

 

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  • They will begin to question your sanity – they may even do this in public, or announce it to the world. At this point you may well even believe it yourself, if so, you are now in their control. They have power over you. Completely. Even if you speak out – who will believe you? they’ve told the world, your mad, bad, a liar and quite possibly abusing them… not the other way around.

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Gas lighters are master manipulators.

 

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2 thoughts on “Gas Lighting

  1. A brilliant explanation of gaslighting, something I’ve had trouble explaining to people, so thanks 😊
    Also, the tragic individual in the above case uses language uncannily like Trump does. ‘Anti pagan’ tacked on the end of comments like his ‘fake news’.
    O my gods, is she the Trump?!

    1. They do seem to have a certain something in common I agree.

      Gas lighting is not easy to recognise, it can be very subtle, very subtle indeed, especially within personal relationships. Online, it’s easy to look back and prove no such thing happened – for without hard evidence it’s just malicious lies, or the beloved buzz word; fake news… ha! and easy to fettle out.

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